This Is All We Have
by JadedAttitude143
Summary: An alternate ending to "iGoodbye," with closure for Sam and Freddie. After Carly leaves, Sam and Freddie are lost in confused. In this emotional time, they seek each other out and find comfort.


**Author's Note: Well, I know after "iGoodbye" a lot of us wanted a bit more of an ending for Sam and Freddie. So, I quickly scribbled this story that just adds a couple of extra scenes to the episode, which overall I enjoyed. I hope you like it, and if you do, please leave a review! Thank you! :)**

This Is All We Have

The fire dances around his life, bright, passionate, always moving, never captured. It's elusive, it's beautiful, and he stares at it in awe, never truly understanding it, but loving it nonetheless.

The ice is there too, beautiful and pristine, a solid form around which he can center his life, and believe in. It's special as well, and he can love it, but it isn't extraordinary. It's simple, comforting, home.

The fire burns his lips, which causes him to pull closer, to want more.

The ice is freezing, meaningless. He pulls away.

X

Her hand is over his, and in that moment it's all he can comprehend. There's no pressure from it; it's more like a soft, familiar blanket draped over his hand. He's known it before, in the past, but entirely forgotten its charm, and now he's unsure if he really wants it.

Carly's face is inching closer, her eyes hardened but her mouth quivering. "Give me a reason to stay," she breathes desperately, her nose pressing against his. Her breath is a combination of Wahoo Punch and spearmint gum, and the closer she comes the more suffocating the scent is. "Please," she murmurs with a crack in her voice.

She kisses him.

Her lips are cold, nearly foreign, and rough from rapid, tearful breathing and a lack of Chapstick. Freddie stands still, unsure of what is occurring, and soon the weight of her hand withdraws, and then, her lips.

There's a beat, and he drums his hand nervously against his laptop. A sigh is released at the same time by both. Brown eyes meet brown. And together, they say, "Well…"

Freddie bites his lip. "Carls, I love you. But, y'know, not like _that._"

Carly's hand comes up to her hair and runs through it rapidly. Her nails, painted a brilliant red earlier that day for the father-daughter dance, are messily chipped and bleeding from hangnails. He attempts to smile at her, but manages a twisted grimace. "I-I – This isn't a mistake, Freddie, don't you think?"

Now, now it is he who grabs her hand and squeezes it tightly. "You'll be so happy in Florence. There's nothing here for you Carly, but me, Sam, and Spencer. We love you and we won't forget you. Now go to Italy and have the time of your life."

Finally, she cracks a smile, and he takes it as clearance enough to pull her into a hug and kiss her cold cheek, salty from tears. They stand there together for a moment, and then he tugs on her wrist, opens the studio door, and leads her downstairs.

Just before they face everyone else, she whispers to him, "I'm so glad you didn't kiss me."

"Geez, thanks, Carly."

"You know what I mean. You're amazing. You…you're so smart and levelheaded. Always making the right choices, y'know? I can't do that. Sam can't do that. But you can. That's why we love you."

And Freddie realizes with a fierce pang how much he'll miss her.

X

Gibby is the first to break.

He wipes at his eyes as discreetly as one could, blames the redness of his eyes on the nonexistent onions in the kitchen, claims that he's upset by the end of _Titanic_, which he had just watched, but finally he lets out akin to cat being strangled, wraps Carly in a tight, Gibby-ish hug, and promises to send her another one of his heads once the machine at the mall is repaired. Carly forces a giggle, squeezes his hands, and tells him that would be "wonderful."

Gibby flees the apartment immediately afterwards, citing allergies. Allergies to heartbreak, as Sam wisecracks immediately afterwards, garnering only a slight chuckle.

Colonel Shay rubs his hands together, claps them once, and surveys the three teenagers, who are clumping together on the couch, redness clouding over all of their eyes. "Spence, how 'bout you come with me, load up the last suitcase while we discuss your adventure at law school. Huh?"

Spencer follows, offering a tight smile at the trio, who barely acknowledges him. They're numb. The elevator doors clang shut, and they're left alone.

"Well…"

"So…"

"Esto es muy horrible…"

"Shut it, Fredwad."

Carly giggles, but then rests her head on Sam's shoulder and pats Freddie's knee affectionately. "I just love you guys a lot. That's all I can really say. Anything else and I'll burst into tears all over again and it'll just be awful."

"Love you too, kid," Sam says gruffly, reminding Freddie of the reconciliation between Carly and Sam five years prior, in which Sam failed to maintain her harsh exterior. Her expression is nearly identical now.

"You're a good person. The best friend I could've ever asked for."

"All because of you and your nauseating niceness."

And that was all Carly and Sam said between themselves for the rest of the night.

Freddie observes the two in silence. Eventually, he abandons his place on the far right end of the couch and stands behind them, a hand on each of their shoulders. Sam unconsciously grasps his hand, clinging to it as if he is her rock now that Carly is gone. Freddie realizes so and kisses her forehead quickly, so she stop him. A smile flits over her face, but nothing more.

The ding of the elevator in the silence of hurt is all the louder. "Dad's waiting in the lobby," Spencer says to Carly.

Sam and Carly rise and walk to the elevator. It descends and rises, delivers both hope and misery. What it brings tonight is unknown.

Carly turns to Sam, eyes brimming with tears and mouth opening with words that she will never say, and merely pulls her into a tight, desperate hug. Neither of them was ever good at expressing their feelings. Carly went about it in convoluted gestures and speeches, Sam in a few gruff threats and glares. Sam extends one hand towards Freddie and yanks him into the hug with great force. He cringes. Things will change, but things will remain. It stings. After a moment of this reflection, he wraps his arms around them as securely as one could and kisses first Sam's head, then Carly's, the only affection he can dredge up after such a long night. The clock strikes midnight.

Spencer watches from the colossal distance of a few feet; a couple of years away from the rushed immediacy of teenage emotions can make a vast difference in perspective, and Spencer's "man-child" tendencies make no difference in the affair. He doesn't belong at all in this hug, but in the next one he will.

Finally, Freddie pulls away, then Sam, then Carly. Spencer is there waiting, arms wide open, to hug Carly briefly once more and whisper a hoarse "Good luck."

Then, in a horribly rapid succession, Carly grabs her purse, enters the elevator, opens her mouth to speak and lets out a sob, then jams the elevator button so quickly it doesn't have time even to cause a reaction. Spencer musters a slight wave. The doors clang shut, and she's gone from their sight.

X

They drift from the apartment slowly, reluctantly. It feels like home to both Sam and Freddie, and they worry that the atmosphere will vanish once they let go of the bitter moment. Once they do leave though, they do so together, because even without Carly, they're still united. Somehow, their bond exists. Behind all that passion, rage, and love, there is such a strong, true friendship that remains despite all else.

Freddie is irresolute about where to go or if they should part ways, but Sam proposes the fire escape in a broken voice that speaks volumes more than her blank expression. "We-We should talk, Freddork."

He knows the topic she's skirting around, but he pretends to be clueless as he leads her through his empty apartment that reeks of disinfectant and out the window, onto the fire escape. Cars race by, eight stories below them. Surely, one of the miniscule pair of headlights belongs to Colonel Shay's rental car. Surely Carly is looking up at Bushwell and thinking of them. Surely she won't forget them in the wonderland of Italy.

Sam seats herself on the rungs of the ladder and leaves Freddie the windowsill. He chuckles to himself at their reversed positions, while still managing to block out memories of what transpired the last time they were together out here. The first of many kisses. It was the best.

He tugs on the hem of his shirt. She wipes at the motorcycle grease on her hands. He runs a hand through his hair and inhales. She mirrors his actions and forces a slight chuckle at it. Finally, he speaks.

"She's really gone, huh?"

"Yeah…" And then something slides over her vision to make it blurry and stinging and painful. Sam wipes at the burning tear in disgust and horror, hoping Freddie won't notice. He does, of course, because his senses have always been hyper-tuned when it comes to her. It drives her nuts, but if she's being fully honest, she absolutely loves it, because she receives the attention that she's always craved from him, and it makes her feel loved. _Loved._

"Sam…" Freddie doesn't move from his position yet, knowing how dangerous that could be, but he does offer compassion through his thoughtful words. "Sam, it's gonna be okay."

"I'm fine!" She snaps, and the words hang irretrievably in the air, a gunshot ringing in the bleak silence of night. It must be nearly one a.m. in Seattle, and moisture collects and hangs in the blackness. It will rain tomorrow, as they mourn.

She softly adds to her statement, in a voice that Freddie scarcely catches, "It's just…Carly was the one good thing about me."

"That's not true, Sam."

"Oh, please." Sam coughs. Freddie thinks it's to hide a break in her voice. "She was like, I dunno, my one redeeming quality. She kept me from being an awful person. She saw the good in me. And it's like, I dunno…she was just the one really good thing about me." She laughed, bitterly. "You'd know that, the only reason why we stayed together for so long last year was because she kept us from fighting. She kept you from leaving."

"Sam." Freddie now thought it was safe to stand and face her, to place a hand lightly over hers, so she could break away if she wanted to. "Sam, don't be silly. That's not true."

"Oh c'mon, Freddie. When we dated it was the – "

"Best. It was the best." He says warmly. The earnest declaration is there. All she has to do was reciprocate. This is the moment on which all of the future is dependent.

She doesn't blush or look away. Her eyes meet his harshly, almost defiantly.

Freddie grasps her hand. "Sam, I'm still in love with you. Is there any part of you that wants to try again?"

When she leaps into his arms, he catches her immediately.

She is warm and solid, and all his, somehow.

They hug for a moment, but dissatisfied with only that, Freddie leans down and kisses her with a new tenderness.

It burns.

The fire on her lips surrounds his and they melt together, in love.

Sam is deliriously happy.

Freddie is overwhelmed with joy.

His hands drift up to cup her cheeks, stroke her hair. Hers travel down to wrap her arms around him and pull him closer.

They pull apart, and Freddie murmurs, "We have each other. And if you want this, it'll be all we need."

"I love you so much."

He smiles.

She smiles.

And they finally have an imperfect but happy ending.

**Author's Note: Well, I apologize for that mess of a story. As you can probably tell, my thoughts are pretty incoherent after "iGoodbye." This was the most sense I could make out of it. I really want a happy ending for Seddie, but unfortunately that won't happen. It's best just to let it go and enjoy the journey that we experienced. I hope you enjoy this addition to "iGoodbye." Please leave me a review to let me know what you think! This is probably my last fanfiction, and I really appreciate all of the support I have gotten. Thanks to fanfiction, I have evolved so much as a writer. Thank you so much! I also want to thank the cast, crew, and writers of **_**iCarly**_** for creating such a wonderful show. It was a great time, guys.**


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